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Jokes

1)    God -bete, mannat maang.
Man -please mujhe phir se unmarried kar do.
God – beta ‘mannat’ maangne ko kaha hai, “Jannat” nahi !

2)    A man was granted two wishes by God,
He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever.
Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.

3)    Wife to Santa: “You don’t love me at all”
Santa points towards their five children and says “Do you think

I downloaded them from Google? “

4)    Beta: Papa meri teacher kitni mast hai na!
Father: Beta teacher maa ke baraber hoti hai.
Beta: Aap to hamesha apni hi khushi dekhte ho.
5)    There are 3 kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened!

6)    Wives are magicians.
They can change anything into an argument

7)    Women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men. WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT Sardar replied: Women don’t have a wife!

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1 Sharabi Ankho ka Dan karne ke liye gaya

Doctor ne Pucha : Kuch Kahena Chahate Ho

Sharabi : Jise Lagao Use Bata Dena Ye Do Pek k Badd hi khulti hai

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Train me ek Sardar ka 50 Rs Kho Gaya

Tabhi ek Musalman Bola

"Yaa Allah Bismillah"

Sardar :  Abe 20 Tuje mila to baaki ka 30 Kaha Gaya ?

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Sardar ki Beti : Papa kal Apke Ghar se 1 Member kum ho jayega

Next Day Sardar ki beti bhag gayi

Sardar : Ladki ne kam to galat kiya per thi wo jyotishi
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Ameer ne Gareeb se Puchha

Sex mahenat he yaa maza ?

Gareeb bola

Sahebji Zarur Maza hi hoga

Warna Mehnat hoti to aap log ye b humse hi karwate

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Santa  :  Ye sent message kya hota hai ?

Banta : kar di na bewakufo vali bat ?

Sent msg ka matalab hota hai " khusbu wala message"


Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated…
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’
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