Saturday, October 1, 2011

Jokes

Ajab desh ki gajab kahani 
1.   We live in a nation where Rice is Rs.40/- per kg and Sim Card is free.
2. Pizza reaches home faster than Ambulance and Police.
3. Car loan @ 5% but education loan @ 12%.
4. Students with 45% get in elite institutions thru quota system and those with
90% get out because of merit.
5. Where a millionaire can buy a cricket team instead of donating the
money to any charity. 2 IPL teams are auctioned at 3300 crores and we
are still a poor country where people starve for 2 square meals per
day.
6. Where the footwear, we wear, are sold in AC showrooms, but
vegetables, that we eat, are sold on the footpath.
7. Where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the
path to be famous.
8. Assembly complex buildings are getting ready within one year while
public transport bridges alone take several years to be completed.
9. Where we make lemon juices with artificial flavors and dish wash
liquids with real lemon.
Think about it!
If you cross the The North Korean border illegally, you get ….. 12
years hard labour in an isolated prison …..
If you cross the Iranian
border illegally, you get ….. detained indefinitely …..
If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get ….. shot ……
If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally, you get …… jailed ……
If you cross the Chinese border illegally, you get ….. kidnapped and
may be never heard of – again ….
If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally, you get ….. branded as a spy and your fate sealed ……
If you cross the Cuban border illegally, you get ….. thrown into a political prison to rot …..
If you cross the British border illegally, you get ….. arrested, prosecuted, sent to prison and be
deported after serving your sentence …..
Now ….
if you were to cross the Indian border illegally, you get …..
1. A ration card
2. A passport ( even more than one – if you please ! )
3. A driver’s license
4. A voter identity card
5. Credit cards
6. A Haj subsidy
7. Job reservation
8. Special privileges for minorities
9. Government housing on subsidized rent
10. Loan to buy a house
11. Free education
12. Free health care
13. A lobbyist in New Delhi , with a bunch of media morons and a bigger bunch of human rights activists promoting
your cause
14. The right to talk about secularism, which you have not heard about in your own country !
15. And of-course ….. voting rights to elect corrupt politicians who will promote your community for their selfish interest in securing your votes !!!
16. and right to fight election for MLA or MP Hats off ….. to the ……
A. Corrupt and communal Indian politicians
B. The inefficient and corrupt Indian police force
C. The silly pseudo-secularists in India , who promote traitors staying here
D. The amazingly lenient Indian courts and legal system. That’s why people like Afzal Guru are still alive, same will happen with Kasab.
E. WE self centered Indian citizens, who are not bothered about the dangers to our own country.
F. The illogically brainless human-rights activists, who think that terrorists deserve to be dealt with by archaic laws meant for an era, when human beings were human beings.
INCREDIBLE INDIA!