Saturday, October 1, 2011

Bitter Half


Bitter half!
Every Wife is a “Mistress” for her Husband.
“Miss” for one hour & “Stress” for the rest 23 hours!
 
There are 2 times when a Man doesn’t understand a Woman.
Before Marriage and After Marriage.
 
My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn’t. 
 
Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet.
Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Get Out.
 
Why Hurricanes Are Usually Named After Women?
Because When They Arrive, They’re wet and wild,
But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car… 
 
A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, “Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You.
“The Man Says Without Hesitation, “I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife.”
 
Husband Searching Keywords on Google.  ‘How to Tackle Wife’?
Google Search Result, “Still Searching”.
 
A Man Goes To A Shrink and Says,
“Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry’s Bar And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I’m Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?”
“Relax,” Says The Doctor, “Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry’s Bar?”
 
Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife’s Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target…
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: “Honey What Are You Doing…
Husband: “MISSING YOU”…
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY………
Women are like phones: 
They like to be held,
talked to and
touched often.
But push the wrong button
and you’re disconnected……